Not My Doctor
by Hattie Laraway
Summary: 'Alright, both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me' Dårlig Ulv-Stranden. One-shot.


Hey guys! I kinda realised all my one-shots were majorly angsty. So, I had intended to write a more up-beat one, which will be coming soon.. in the next chapter, i think... unless i decide to leave this as it is..

Either way, enjoy.. and I will write a more up-beat one soon, promise!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or the characters involved.**

p.s. Ten is my Doctor. I love him SO much. I love Matt too, but its just David. He just owned it. He's just amazing. And beautiful.

* * *

><p>'But he's not <em>you' <em>I protested furiously. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer, they ran down my face, a flowing waterfall of anger and pain. Why was he doing this to me? _Why?_ I had travelled all this way, spent all this time to find him and he was just _leaving_.

'He needs you, that's very me.'

_But he's NOT you, _I screamed in my head. Didn't he get it? Was he _that_ alien? It didn't matter that he looked exactly the same, spoke exactly like him, _it wasn't him._

They spoke, I wasn't listening. What did it matter? He wasn't the Doctor. He was just a man who looked like him. He wasn't him, not really. _He could never be._

I turned to the man that wasn't the Doctor. That man in the blue suit. Intermittent words drifted through the nippy Norwegian air, I didn't try to listen. I didn't want to.

'I look like him.'

_But you're not him._

'Same memories.'

_But you didn't live it. You weren't there. The Doctor was. That's the difference._

'Same everything; except I've only got one heart.'

My ears pricked up, 'Which means?' _what did this mean? What was he saying? _

'I'm part human.'

_Exactly. _He was_ human. _The Doctor- the _real_ Doctor- was far from that,

'Specifically the aging part, I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life, Rose Tyler. I could spend it with you, if you want.'

I looked at him. He did looked like him, well of course he did. He spoke like him, but there was still that niggling feeling in the back of my heart shouting; _but it's not him._

'You'll grow old at the same time as me.'

'Together.'

_Together._ I knew what he was trying to do. He knew me. They both did. They were trying to make it okay. But this new Doctor, it wasn't him. It wasn't The Doctor. He was what I wanted The Doctor to be when I fell in love with him. Before I realised that he couldn't ever be like that. The Doctor; he wasn't human enough. I stepped closer towards this new doctor, placing my hand on his chest. Feeling his heartbeat. His one heart thumping in his chest.

The TARDIS made a noise, a loud one. I turned around. Facing him and Donna.

He spoke, The Doctor, 'We've got to go. This reality is sealing itself off, forever.'

_Why did he have to say it so casually? Why did he have to say that one word; Forever. He couldn't leave me again. No. It's not fair. Why did he have to do this?_ Another tear slid down my face, the lump in my throat got bigger as I tried desperately to control it now. _I don't want him to remember me like this. I didn't want him to have to remember me. I didn't want to just be another memory._

'But,' I didn't know what to say, I had to say something, stop him from just waltzing away again. I ran after him, 'it's still not right, 'cause the Doctor is still you.'

'And I'm him.'

_No. No you are not. You are so much more than him. Doctor you are not human. You are so much greater than that and we both know it, '_Alright, both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me?' He looked at me with those eyes, those eyes that begged me not to make him say it.

_You are not going to leave me on this beach again, without a proper goodbye, Doctor._ ' Go on, say it.'

He looked at me; his adam apple moved slightly up and down his neck, he swallowed. I watched his eyes carefully. They were full of sadness, remembering and regret. I could see this was killing him. _He didn't want to say it._ But it was killing me too.

'I said "Rose Tyler".' His voice cracked slightly. The cold wind blew through my hair, stinging my eyes.

'Yeah? ...And how was that sentence gonna end?'

His jaw set, his eyes were filled with such a sadness, his voice was hoarse and soft, 'Does it need saying?'

_Yes. Yes Doctor. I need you to say it. How else am I supposed to move on? Just say it._

I turned to face the new Doctor, he hadn't said much. He hadn't really moved. Maybe he was just being considerate, after all he was _human_. I _needed_ it to be said.

'New Doctor, what was the end of that sentence?'

He stepped forward, leaning his head next to mine. _He smelt just liked him. _His whisper tickled my ear before I heard what he said.

'_I love you.'_

I could see it now, what he was trying to do. He was giving me the one he could never have; he was giving me his love. He was giving me a whole life. He was giving me the Doctor.

I looked into his eyes. Those wonderful shining eyes. It was him. _It was._ I needed him. He needed me. I grabbed the lapels on his jacket, pulling myself to him, his lips against mine, my arms found his neck as his arms found my waist... just like before. It really was him. The Doctor, The oncoming storm.

The whirring sound broke the kiss, the dry whirring grating sound of the TARDIS dematerializing. Leaving me. Leaving us. My heart was breaking; the man that stood beside me was leaving me again. I ran towards the disappearing TARDIS, knowing it was pointless, knowing there was no use.

He came after me, the new Doctor.

He took hold of my hand.

This Doctor, this new Doctor; he had that tiny bit of human, that tiny bit of human that made him able to love me.

I looked at eyes were almost the same. They would remember everything that we had been through, but they hadn't actually been there, they couldn't feel the pain, not like me. Those eyes, they hadn't seen it, they could only remember. I was right, he definitely wasn't _the _Doctor. But what he could be, to me, was so much more.

He could be my Doctor. For a lifetime.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed!<strong>


End file.
